Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Our Make a Wish is.....

So, as many of you know Joe and I had gone back and forth about what to do with Make a Wish.

The question was: Will Caydence remember this trip? Should we wait until she is older?

First we were going to wait.

And then I got to thinking…

This is our life. Right now. Today. Tomorrow is never promised. Not for healthy kids, and especially not for kids with hypoplastic left heart syndrome.

Sure, if you look at Caydence, and you didn’t know us, you would probably see a perfectly “normal/healthy” 4 year old.

But the fact remains that even though she is doing VERY well, that can all change. Instantly.

I don’t want any regrets. I don’t want to wait for a trip, and maybe Caydence will be sicker when she gets older. Who knows? I don’t.

As her birthday approached I began to think about how last year she was in the hospital and had her ulcer. Even though it wasn’t my fault, I felt I owed her a big birthday party this year since she didn’t get one last year.

So, why not take a trip.

Why not live our lives now.

Why not make memories and make my kiddo happy now.

Because today, at this moment, she is healthy and is able to go to on a trip.

So, we have chosen Disney, and I predict it will be a GREAT time. We don’t have a date yet, but we will keep you posted.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Dear Caydence

Dear Caydence,

I never ever ever wanted to be a stay at home mom. In fact I drove your father to countless interviews with daycares and had even picked one.

Then you came out with a heart defect. The doctors suggested against daycare. I still fought staying at home. I went back after 3 months and worked while aunt and mimi watched you.

And then you had your 2nd surgery at 5 months old and I finally relented, but I was very unsure.

See your momma is a type A busybody who doesn’t like to stop for 1 minute. How on earth was I going to be a stay at home mom?

I know….stay busy. The 1st year I stayed home with you our calendar was like this:

Monday- shopping day/errands.Tuesday- play dates. Wednesday- church. Thursday- Kindermusik. Friday- swim lessons

We were always somewhere and that made me feel less like a stay at home and more still like a busybody. It made the transition less traumatic for me.

As the years went by I started loving staying at home with you. I saw everything. 1st steps. 1st words. 1st foods. We took fun trips to the Aquarium, Arboretum, Dallas Art Museum, and everything in between. You were my little buddy. People would marvel at how good you could speak at 2 years old and I thought well yah, I talk to her all day long. She’s my buddy.

And now, tomorrow, I start a new adventure. Going back to work. My heart hurts some thinking of not being with you everyday. I know this will be good for both of us but I will miss you more than you can imagine. I am so very glad I stayed at home with you. It was never in my play but it was better than anything I had planned. Those 3.5 years went by so fast and I feel so blessed to have been able to capture every moments with you.

I love you my pretty princess.